FROZEN EMBRYO TRANSFER NEW

SO, we have 1 embryo left and we have decided to GO FOR IT!!  I feel so anxious and excited.  I need an outlet so I will update my journey here. My first step is to get cleared by my OB.  I will meet with my reproductive endo at the end of September. It sucks that you finally make the decision to go for it and then it takes a full month to get in to see the DR for a consult! Wish me luck!

FET TRANSFERS

In August 2010, I went back in for a FROZEN EMBRYO transfer for 2 of the frozen blastocysts.
In April 2011, I had my second son. He is perfect and healthy. : )

IS THIS FOR REAL?

Today I went to my final appointment with my RE. It's all over with him. He has graduated me on to the OB. It's bittersweet. I feel like the fertility center is so attentive to my every need, complaint, question, and/or request. I am so happy that everything worked out but I am still feeling like I will believe it when I see it. I had a lot of comfort in knowing that my RE and OB know each other very well! Does that sound crazy?
Infertility has engulfed my life for the past 12 months so it's hard to accept that your life will change for the better in just 7 months. In just 7 months this amazing little person will be in my life! It is hard to conceptualize that finally all my hopes, dreams, and prayers will be answered. I guess it's hard to explain unless you've been there and been through it all. Thanks for all your support, kind comments, and words of encouragement! I will definitely post a pic of my "bump" when it shows! Until then, I will probably write now & then!

Full Speed Ahead

Nothing new to report, everything seems to be going great! Today is 7 weeks 4 days, but whose counting? I still have some spotting from time to time. This completely freaks me out. It makes me have a lot of anxiety that something is going to go wrong. I guess after the year of infertility treatment its hard to accept that everything is okay! We've seen the heartbeat twice so I kow I need to calm down. :)

Heartbeat!

After more suprise spotting Friday morning, I called the Dr and went in for bloodwork and ultrasound. Guess what? We saw a heartbeat! WOW! It was unbelievable. Everything seems to be okay. I'm keeping my fingers crossed and hoping and praying to get through the next 6 weeks as quickly as possible.

5 Week 2 days Report

On Friday(13th) afternoon I had a spot of red on my panties the size of a half dollar. Naturally, I freaked out! I called the DR and they said that this is normal, however, since my blood type is RH negative, I would need to come in to make sure that my body did not begin to produce antibodies against the fetus. According to Americanpregancy.org, “If you are Rh-negative, you can develop antibodies to an Rh-positive baby. If a small amount of the baby's blood mixes with your blood, which often happens, your body may respond as if it were allergic to the baby. Your body may make antibodies to the Rh antigens in the baby's blood. This means you have become sensitized and your antibodies can cross the placenta and attack your baby's blood. They break down the fetus's red blood cells and produce anemia (the blood has a low number of red blood cells). This condition is called hemolytic disease or hemolytic anemia. It can become severe enough to cause serious illness, brain damage, or even death in the fetus or newborn.” YIKES! So they had me come in Monday morning (16th of March) for an ultrasound and bloodwork and to receive this an injection or Rh immunoglobulin (RhIg), a blood product that can prevent sensitization of an Rh-negative mother. I was negative for the antibody screen so that was fine, and they gave me the injection so that took care of that.

Now on to bigger and better things…….THE ULTRASOUND! We saw 1 little sac!!! Yipeee!!!!! I can’t wait to see the heartbeat on Monday the 23rd! It will truly be a blessing! Much to my surprise they discovered I was suffering from OHSS (Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome). My ovaries were very large and fluid filled. There was also fluid all around them! I have been soooooooooo bloated and peeing every 5 minutes and extremely nauseous. I thought that these were all symptoms of the pregnancy, but as it turns out it was because I had fluid in my abdominal cavity. They told me to eat salty foods and drink Gatorade but call if I feel worse than I did. The nurse told me that most women who had this amount of OHSS would have been in their office in tears already. I just didn’t know, I thought it was part of the pregnancy package and was trying to “tough it out.” Silly me.

My Beta HCG came back 3750 and my progesterone was 180!

Today is 5 week 3 days…….6 more days until I get to see the heartbeat!

Beta #2

Great news to report. HCG is rising nicely. It was 600 today! Progesterone was 141 which sounded high, but they said that's good. I go in again for bloodwork and my first ultrasound on Thursday the 19th! The nurse told me that they look to see the sac or sacs!?!?! Oh boy!

BETA DAY!

Sorry I couldn't post sooner but my doctor's office did not call me with my results until 5 pm yesterday! Much to my extreme suprise my BETA HCG was 323! That's a positive. I AM PREGNANT! I am cautiously optimistic though. I know all too well, that I can't jump for joy just yet. I have another BETA HCG tomorrow to make sure that everything is doubling the way it should be.
Yeah! Yipeeeee! I will feel a little better after tomorrow's result confirm everything is okay and I will feel a lot better after I get to see a heartbeat. So for now I'm on pins and needles hoping & praying!

Talk About Torture

Some call TORTURE sleep deprivation, water boarding, forced standing, or starvation & thirst. I call TORTURE having to go to a birthday party for 1 year old twins (conveived naturally) Saturday and a baby shower Sunday when my beta test is Monday for my 3rd round of IVF! On Friday, most of us are looking forward to the weekend, but today, I'd rather work all weekend. It seems so evil that God would have it work out this way for me. I did not POAS today still because I know I need to get through this weekend as all is normal. If I do and its negative, I won't be able to function. I will have Monday home to reflect and await my results.

No More

Last night I was so damn depressed about the POAS I fell asleep at 6:30 pm (granted I wake up at 5 am), but still this is not normal behavoir. The anxiety & stress of this wait has left me emotionally and physically exhausted. I've decided that I can't handle POAS again, so I will not do it at all anymore and will just wait for my beta. At least there's a chance still because maybe I've tested too early? I took Monday off (Beta Day)of work so I can have the day to myself. If I need to grieve, I will be home. I just hope I POAS too early. If not, I can't wait to stop taking the estrogen and the progesterone because it is clearly making me so crazy and unstable. NO MORE POAS for me!

Big Fat Disappointment

Well as you can guess by my title, I took an HPT this morning and it was negative. I am 8dp 3dt. Maybe its too early, but maybe not? Either way I am totally down in the dumps. I didn't even tell my DH that I purchased some HPTs or that I took one so I have to pretend like nothing is wrong. I think I will wait to more days and try to take one again on Friday. For now, I'm going to do some Google searches on the topic.

Guilty

So I was driving around at lunch running some errands & when I was finished I somehow found myself close to the dollar store. I figured I should stop in and buy some HPTs. I know that POAS is so emotionally difficult, but I am so impatient. This whole 2WW thing is for the birds. Too long. I am thinking that I will at least wait until tomorrow morning to take one. This will be 8dp 3dt. I am scared, but certain that I need to know.
I'm just going to go out on a limb and say that I feel pregnant. I'm not sure if its just because things went better this time (so maybe my mind is playing tricks on me)? Or if I really am? My skin is super clear and I've felt crampy for days. I just feel different.
So there you have it.......tomorrow I will be guilty of taking an HPT prior to my beta! I will let you know how that goes.

6 DP 3 DT or 1 Week To GO

I am 6 days past a day 3 transfer or 1 week away from my HCG test. I'm slowly feeling the urge to POAS (pee on a stick), however, I'm scared. The behavoir (POAS) is so destructive to your emotional well being, especially when it says NEGATIVE. Not that I'm speculating either way. In my mind I FEEL like something is going on in my body, but then again I wonder if I am just losing my mind?!?!? I think that it would be too early for a POSITIVE even if it was a BFP? Dollar store is around the corner from my work, so the temptation is there. I am going to try and hold off for as long as I can. TORTURE, but I'm half way there!

Good Things come in Threes

Good things come in threes is an old, old saying you've probably heard before. Many things come in threes such as past/present/future, one, two, three, ABC, etc. Okay you probably get the idea. Well, the reason that I write this is because I got a call from the embryologist today stating that 1 more good embryo made it to blastocyst stage. So we had a total of 3 embryos to freeze for our 3rd IVF. Happy, happy, joy, joy! Words can not express how excited we are! It's hard to explain if you aren't in the situation, but on our two previous IVFs we had ZERO embryos to freeze so this was excellent news. Back to reality and back to my 2WW. My beta test is on Monday, March 9th, it seems like that is forever and a day away. Yeah #3!

Shock of a Lifetime!

You better sit down if you are reading this! I am in total shock right now.....................

When we went in for the embryo transfer on Tuesday they told us that we had other 4,5, & 6 cell embryos (on day 3) left but none of them looked that promising. They said that they would grow them out anyways. Well they called today to say that we have two absolutely perfect blastocysts! They said that there are two more really good ones that they are going to give us an update on tomorrow?!?!?! At the very least we have two to freeze but maybe four! This has never happened before and the team at the fertility office seemed surprised and excited! I was expecting the same old phone call that they all just fell off the face of the earth and arrested, but WOW, they didn't. It is such great news for us. I was actually crying when I talked to my DH. I guess it is a small victory that means so much in my infertile world! I've read on so many other pages that persistance pays off and I am finally having a lot more faith that it does and will.

Embryo Transfer

Well I should be on my couch in "couch potato" stance but I figure updating this couldn't hurt anything. I had to call the lab today at 7 am to find out if we were coming in today for a day 3 transfer or Thursday for a day 5 transfer. As luck would have it, they asked us to come in today. We decided to be very aggressive for this transfer since it was our third time. We transferred 3 - 7 cell embryos with 15% fragmentation and 1- 7 cell embryo with 25% fragmentation, so four total. At least one has to be healthy and make it. They are growing the rest out in the lab to see if they make it to day five so we can freeze. I'm not holding my breath on that, but I'm feeling hopeful about the embryos in me......allright back to the couch!

Dear God

Dear God,
Please, please let this work. Please make my embyos develop in the lab. I've never wanted anything more than this...............................
So I fell asleep thinking about the lab and I woke up thinking about the lab and what is going on in there. Of the 25 eggs they retrieved, they were able to fertilize 20 of them! All 20 of them looked good yesterday, but in the past it all went downhill from day 1 to day 2. I am very anxious to hear how they are doing today and if I will be in tomorrow for a day 3 transfer or thursday for a day 5 transfer. I'm wondering if they will automatically do a day 3 since I've had two previous failures? Ugh...I better get to work so I can get my mind off all of this.

The Wait

My IVF clinic is about an hour away from my house combine that with a winter storm warning. The DH and I decided to leave the house 2 hours early so we got up at 4:30 am!!! We made it there in an hour and a half so that wasn't too bad. Egg retrieval went well. They retrieved 25 eggs! That is more than both my first and second time, so hopefully this time is the charm! I should be more excited, but since I've been in this wonderful world of IVF I realize that it means nothing until we show up for the day of the transfer and they break down the quality of what is left. So we will see. I am hoping that now that the DH's hormone issue is fixed that we will get a much better quality embryo. Please keep your fingers crossed for me! I will find out tomorrow how many out of the 25 they can fertilize so that will be the next step. Overall, I came home took a nap and feel decent, just a little sore. Now the waiting game begins for my embryo transfer!

ER Scheduled!!!!

Aaaahhhh!!! So I got the call that my ER is schedule for Saturday 8 a.m. (DAY 11 of stims). I am in the WORST mood ever because I feel so bloated and uncomfortable. I thought I'd be really happy and I was, but I got really bitter when the nurse told me that my HCG shot is a little different this time. She said "It's a bigger needle, which you need to inject intramuscularly in your buttox." WHAT?!!?!?!?!!? The past two times, I took the simple ovidrel shot which was just like the other ones in my stomach. So now I'm having anxiety combined with a headache. I'm trying not to have negative thoughts, but I can't help it. I know its the hormones. Sorry if I sound crazy, I just need to get through tonight and tomorrow, right?

So close, yet so far away.......

Yesterday afternoon the Dr. called and said my E2 was right on schedule at 1613 (day 7 of stims). I had to go back this morning for US & BW again and the ultrasound tech said I had a few eggs in the 20mm and the rest were in the 15-19mm range. He said most doctors would have me HCG trigger tonight (which means I'd be back their Friday for the ER), however, my DR. likes to push things out an additional day. It would clearly be more convenient to go in on Saturday because then I wouldn't have to take off of work, however, I am so ready to get this show on the road. I feel so full and bloated. I'm just overall cranky. So we will see what happens, I look forward to hearing from them this afternoon to hear what the Dr.'s verdict is! I'm so close, yet so far away.
On another note, I am bruised. It is weird because I'm not bruised or sore where my husband gave me any of the shots, I'm bruised on both of my arms from giving blood everyday. Ugh! Good thing were in for another shot of cold weather in the midwest, I can keep on wearing the long sleeve shirts!